1.

First update for Kaz's Summer Camp.

2.

From Hurricane Forever:

The older man’s face flushed, in renewed anger. “I won’t be your pawn.”
“You already are, and if you do not act, you will only remain a pawn.”

3.

I'm just past the 100 page milestone -- I don't write in manuscript format, but 14pt Corbel spaced 1.15.

Somehow this is more monumental than the 35k I'm nearing.

1.

30k. Whoot!

2.

Actually, 31k.

Unwriting

1.

I refuse to call it writer's block.

But I do experience periods of time that I call unwriting.

During those periods, I simply do not write.

Hence, unwriting.

They aren’t a lot of fun. I have had 'Write every day' bopped into my head every day since I began six years ago -- OMG six years ago!

2.

There is a TED video in which Elizabeth Gilbert says it is freeing to acknowledge a higher power in your creative work. 

And I guess in a way, it's true.

But all things are best in moderation. 

3.

Sarah Monette:

Treating writer's block as (1) monolithic and (2) reified--I have WRITER'S BLOCK! Woe! Woe is me for I cannot write!--only makes it harder to figure out what the problem is. It also feeds into a number of toxic myths about writing, which we may call either Shelley's Revenge or the Hemingway Trap, depending on whether we want to see it as yet another hangover of Romanticism or as the thing that killed Hemingway. But the idea that creativity controls the writer--which is EXACTLY the idea behind the pernicious anthropomorphism of The
Muse--cannot help but lead to mystification and reification of writer's block, turning it from a problem into an insurmountable, career-ending disaster.

I'm personally inclined to agree with Ms Monette -- she of the Mirador quartet -- as opposed to Ms Gilbert.

I've been a more consistent writer since I gave up the idea of having a Muse -- which I took to ridiculous heights involving multiple neuroses in my late teens.

4.

I try, as much as I can, to consider the time spent away from writing to be an investment.

Time to find mind fodder for your under mind and time for your under mind to chew through that mind fodder.

It's hard, when you're struggling and especially when you're facing a deadline.

Sitting there and banging your head on the wall isn't always a solution either. It's right in front of you, mocking you. If anything, it's a waste of time, and worse, I suspect it sometimes makes things worse.  

5.

The guilt, the self-recrimination...that's the worst, isn't it?

I suck. I'm such a terrible writer. Why do I even bother? This is such a waste of time!

But here's the thing: it's only a waste of time if you quit, and if you quit, you will always be a terrible writer.

1.

Hurricane Forever has 5 sections.

I've just now completed the second one.

2.

I'm trying to work out what I'm going to do next.

The third section was always the most squishy one. I have an idea of what happens. The title of the novel -- the real title and not my 'Trying To Be Funny' title -- comes from the concept of the third section.

The concept being distinct from the plot because I am terribly, terribly complicated.

3.

I have a suspicion I may have to read the 9/11 Commission Report for this. Now, ladies and gentleman, that's what I call dedication to my art.

1.

I've updated my synopsis some. Re-worked some key points.

I think the storyline could work as things stand, but I'm sure things will change.

2.

I've just hit the 20k mark, which is a nice little milestone.

In terms of plot, I'm just about hit the meat of the book. Which will be nice because I haven't gotten this far before with a first draft. Which is a more significant milestone, if you ask me.

3.

It's May. I need to contemplate The Year of Starts again. Thinking of starting Rhoda Morley, unless I get my act together enough to find a decent pair of scissors in this house to cut the fabric for Metta Putfarckens.

I hardly stitched last month. I doubt this month will be much better.

4.

The war of being is not going so well.

Sometimes I wish I could take out a piece of my psyche, swap it out for a better, less dented version made of titanium that will not rust or corrode and is sturdy enough to take a few hits.

1.

I am still on the wrong continent.

2.

Hurricane Forever is also still on the wrong continent. I thought my sooperwoman would already be in her new home by now. Bah.

3.

I started Northern Expression's Celtic Leaves. Such a lovely piece.

But I desperately need to either stop talking about my needlework on this blog, or to somehow reconcile this identity with my other online identity.

The latter would be preferable, but I am also certain that it is a problem to which there is no solution.

4.

I think my Monday posts are going on temporary hiatus until I get my act together to start blogging again. It makes me feel very lazy, but hey, I am very lazy.

1.

I rather think I've been neglecting this blog for too long.

But I did try to return to the UK, got stuck in Dubai and decided to return to Singapore, so I do sort of have an excuse.

2.

Dubai is an inspiration.

It is what I imagine a charter city that's run out of money would look like.

Certainly, it does not meet the definition of a charter city. But the point of a charter city is that build it, and they will come.

They came, they saw, they left.

3.

I ran into a stop for most of the last week.

But it's kick-started again.

The first time in my life that my synopsis has actually helped me.

Introversion

1.

I think that a writer complaining about having to promote oneself despite being an introvert is a cop out.

2.

I’m not surprised that most writers are introverted. It is a job where one spends a great deal of time alone. In the long-run, it’s probably a benefit.

3.

But I see being a people-person as being more of a facet of one’s personality. It’s almost like a  muscle. It must be stretched and worked and then you’ll end up with something more.

4.

My greatest achievement in my three years of university isn’t learning to live on my own, much less my degree – such as things stand at the moment.

It’s strengthening my people-person muscle to the point where most of the people I know think I’m pretty extroverted.

After all, I’m always out and about, and the first to accept an invitation to head out with people.

Sometimes, I over-extend myself. In which case, I grit my teeth and get on with it if I have to, and cancel if I can. 

5.

I wasn’t going to post this today. I had something else in mind.

Then I came across this post on Jay Lake’s blog, which sent me to this post by Jessica Reisman.

I think Reisman has a point. I think on average, it’s better to be an extrovert than an introvert if you want to achieve something that requires a great deal of public (defined as other than friends & family) approval.

At least, it just might be easier.

Commemorate

1.

I know of 2 people who’ve actually read what I’ve posted on this blog.

One is @GirrlitsBooks – who’s commented a couple of times and the other is Alison Kent, who kindly linked to my post yesterday.

So to commemorate that event, I’m going to run a contest.

2.

I’ll buy a lucky winner a copy of any Alison Kent novel, provided that I can get them through Fictionwise or the Book Depository, and provided the geographic restrictions (DRM or postage) in both cases are met.

I can choose for you – I think I’ve read upwards of three-quarters of what she’s published solo (as in not in anthology) – or you can have your pick.

3.

Ways to enter:

1. Comment here on this post.
2. Follow me on Blogger.
3. Follow @emilycardinal on Twitter.
4. Retweet my contest
5. Email me – I won’t keep your email address for mailing lists or anything like that – with Contest in the subject line.

You can do any and all of them.

But here’s a bonus: if you do all 5, you get double the entries. And as there are very few people who read this blog, if you get double the entries, you’ll probably win.

4.

The contest ends this Sunday. If you win and you entered by 1, 2 or 5, I’ll email you, otherwise, Twitter it is.

Good luck! 

1.

I tend to blog a lot on Sundays. Hmm…

2.

I’m unwriting again. Bah.

But I did read over what I have today, and I see that I’ve begun the slow process of jargonizing TLOL.

Jargonizing probably isn’t a good term for it. More along the lines of my worldbuilding is beginning to actually appear inside what I’ve already written.

Kinda, I think it is beginning to be recognizable as the world that exists in my head.

3.

I am working on Nadia’s wedding sampler again.

I did finish The Charleston. I’ll put up a picture of that at some point. Probably means when I get back to Singapore later this month.

I need to contemplate what I’ll be starting in May, June and July. The Year of Starts! Whoot!

4.

I should probably post about my trip to the Macclesfield Silk Museum yesterday, but somehow, I just can’t be bothered.

1.

It is quiet in my head today. But then, I’ve had 2 1k days in 3 days so I guess that’s to be expected. Hopefully it means I’ll get a lot of other work done today.

2.

I reduced my word count from 100k to 90k.

My original projection for Act I was 20k, but I’ve actually only written about 7.5k.

I managed to cut through all the backstory, which exists in my head and which I sincerely pray that I do not forget, with a nifty trick, if I do say so myself.

3.

Joely and Nadia say that I should just continue. But the temptation to fix Act I first? Is nearly strong enough to overwhelm my Willpower.

4.

Still, I’ve managed to actually start Act II.

This is when Sooperwoman and Sooperman settle down into some kind of relationship. It’s either going to be the easiest Act to write, or the hardest. I’m betting on the latter because Act I was okay except for the part where I cut half of it – a number that was not near enough to 5 digits to make me cry.

Joy.

January-in-February

1.

1-2-3 was not a disaster, in terms of discipline. I mostly kept up with it.

2.

I do think it’s a disaster in terms of what I got out of it.

Which I think is nothing.

3.

I already have an account that I set up to email my entries to. I’ll try to 1-2-3 when the mood strikes me.

Just don’t think it’ll be very often.

1.

Little plot arcs! Everywhere!

I can feel the climax building and building and building. I can actually see where I am going.

2.

I’m into the third chapter now. :)

And tomorrow, I will most probably hit the 5k mark – which would mean that I’ve been writing, on average, double the 250 minimum I hope to meet each day.

3.

Today was the first 1k day of this draft of TLOL. That’s always a nice milestone to meet.

The Twitter people who told me I was crazy for trying to cram 20 years worth of plot into 80-90k? They are still probably right, but I shall try anyway.

4.

1-2-3 is going surprisingly well. It’s so much a part of my schedule now that I was planning to do them tonight too.

I might do that. The thing is, I can’t tell if the heebie-jeebies started because I started 1-2-3. So maybe they aren’t so good for me.

1.

Morning pages have yet to happen.

I am thinking about turning them into night pages. To empty out my head so I can start afresh in the morning. Maybe it’ll help me sleep.

For now, lunch pages seems to work. We’ll see when my schedule fills up a bit more.

2.

TLOL continues to percolate. I’ve essentially reworked the plotline for the third act, but I still need to fix the first.

I have found my not-so-pretty protagonist’s defining trait, so the first act must change. The plot works, but not the way it is currently written.

3.

MO has titles. Now it needs writing. I will probably work on this in parallel with TLOL, because it has so much in common.

Themes, worldbuilding, timelines even. I think the characters in MO will appear in TLOL and vice versa.

4.

The weather…OMG the weather!

It was freaking chucking it down yesterday. An actual Snowgasm in February! What. The. Fuck?

Talk about January-in-February! Which is, thankfully, going much better than the weather.

Milestone.

My novel has reached the 10k mark, and according to WriteWay, ahead of schedule as well.