Breathe

1.

Or why so many writers/artists are addicted to one thing or another.

2.

As I write this, I have just finish somewhat more than a third of a bottle of wine.

I currently weigh little more than 40kg, 6.3 stone or 89 pounds.

One third of a bottle of wine is quite a lot for me. My record stands at three-quarters, but I weighed at least 5-6 -- and probably more -- kilograms then.

3.

The conversation went...

Guy: Wait a minute! If the both of you had a small glass, then it must mean she's had something like three-quarters of the bottle!

Me: Yup! I'm feeling really happy right now!

4.

Today's the first day in many, many days that I've felt like I could breathe.

Just breathe, and not worry about anything else. I feel almost weightless, and I haven't felt like this in I-don't-know-how-long.

5.

I know it's a slippery path I'm on, the path to addiction.

But some days, I just can't help myself.

Unwriting

1.

I refuse to call it writer's block.

But I do experience periods of time that I call unwriting.

During those periods, I simply do not write.

Hence, unwriting.

They aren’t a lot of fun. I have had 'Write every day' bopped into my head every day since I began six years ago -- OMG six years ago!

2.

There is a TED video in which Elizabeth Gilbert says it is freeing to acknowledge a higher power in your creative work. 

And I guess in a way, it's true.

But all things are best in moderation. 

3.

Sarah Monette:

Treating writer's block as (1) monolithic and (2) reified--I have WRITER'S BLOCK! Woe! Woe is me for I cannot write!--only makes it harder to figure out what the problem is. It also feeds into a number of toxic myths about writing, which we may call either Shelley's Revenge or the Hemingway Trap, depending on whether we want to see it as yet another hangover of Romanticism or as the thing that killed Hemingway. But the idea that creativity controls the writer--which is EXACTLY the idea behind the pernicious anthropomorphism of The
Muse--cannot help but lead to mystification and reification of writer's block, turning it from a problem into an insurmountable, career-ending disaster.

I'm personally inclined to agree with Ms Monette -- she of the Mirador quartet -- as opposed to Ms Gilbert.

I've been a more consistent writer since I gave up the idea of having a Muse -- which I took to ridiculous heights involving multiple neuroses in my late teens.

4.

I try, as much as I can, to consider the time spent away from writing to be an investment.

Time to find mind fodder for your under mind and time for your under mind to chew through that mind fodder.

It's hard, when you're struggling and especially when you're facing a deadline.

Sitting there and banging your head on the wall isn't always a solution either. It's right in front of you, mocking you. If anything, it's a waste of time, and worse, I suspect it sometimes makes things worse.  

5.

The guilt, the self-recrimination...that's the worst, isn't it?

I suck. I'm such a terrible writer. Why do I even bother? This is such a waste of time!

But here's the thing: it's only a waste of time if you quit, and if you quit, you will always be a terrible writer.

Principles

1.

Karen Knows Best:

I know that authors should really write what they love, but what if what they love doesn’t sell? It’s ok if money isn’t an issue for said author, but what if, as in Sharon’s case, it is? Should she really be expected to stick to her principles, and keep churning out inter-racial romances, that have a limited audience in the market place?

I don't have much patience for this kind of talk.

The way I see it, you can starve, or you can get a job that will feed you.

It is that simple.

2.

All that crap about principles? Is just crap.

If you're that hungry, you'll do anything to be fed.

I don't know about you, but I'd say that writing the type of book that will sell and sell well is better than having to find a non-writing job for most writers*.

It is a risk. The new book in that hot new genre might not sell. Frankly, I would judge the probability that it will not be as good as the author's previous work to be quite high too. Talent and craft is no substitute for heart**.

3.

Shiloh Walker later said in the comments that it's not about principles, it's about business.

I agree, and it makes me want to shoot people when they say stuff like they wish they could be paid to sit at home all day and write. Who's going to pay them, I don't know.

4.

I've taken flack before because I don't have the kind of background that will make me understand.

For goodness sake! You're studying economics!

I'll never forget seeing that 'screamed' across a chat room a few years back.

But that was a conscious decision I made. I don't want to be one of those writers who, ten-fifteen years down the road, have no money and need to raise funds for medical treatment.

I read a very select few author blogs. Do you know how many cries for help I have read about in the past few years? Enough to be sure that I never ever want to be at the mercy of strangers.

5.

What bugs me the most is how some writers seem to take pride in the fact that they are living in a little hovel, starving for their art.

Somehow, it seems to make them think that they are 'truer' to their art, because they are sacrificing.

And I suppose they are.

But the idea that you're going to write better because you living hand-to-mouth in an awful little apartment...

*opens the window and screams*

* I make this point because I would personally rather find a non-writing job.

** My favorite example of this is Tina St. John, whose historicals are far better than the vampire novels she has published as Lara Adrian.