Unwriting

1.

I refuse to call it writer's block.

But I do experience periods of time that I call unwriting.

During those periods, I simply do not write.

Hence, unwriting.

They aren’t a lot of fun. I have had 'Write every day' bopped into my head every day since I began six years ago -- OMG six years ago!

2.

There is a TED video in which Elizabeth Gilbert says it is freeing to acknowledge a higher power in your creative work. 

And I guess in a way, it's true.

But all things are best in moderation. 

3.

Sarah Monette:

Treating writer's block as (1) monolithic and (2) reified--I have WRITER'S BLOCK! Woe! Woe is me for I cannot write!--only makes it harder to figure out what the problem is. It also feeds into a number of toxic myths about writing, which we may call either Shelley's Revenge or the Hemingway Trap, depending on whether we want to see it as yet another hangover of Romanticism or as the thing that killed Hemingway. But the idea that creativity controls the writer--which is EXACTLY the idea behind the pernicious anthropomorphism of The
Muse--cannot help but lead to mystification and reification of writer's block, turning it from a problem into an insurmountable, career-ending disaster.

I'm personally inclined to agree with Ms Monette -- she of the Mirador quartet -- as opposed to Ms Gilbert.

I've been a more consistent writer since I gave up the idea of having a Muse -- which I took to ridiculous heights involving multiple neuroses in my late teens.

4.

I try, as much as I can, to consider the time spent away from writing to be an investment.

Time to find mind fodder for your under mind and time for your under mind to chew through that mind fodder.

It's hard, when you're struggling and especially when you're facing a deadline.

Sitting there and banging your head on the wall isn't always a solution either. It's right in front of you, mocking you. If anything, it's a waste of time, and worse, I suspect it sometimes makes things worse.  

5.

The guilt, the self-recrimination...that's the worst, isn't it?

I suck. I'm such a terrible writer. Why do I even bother? This is such a waste of time!

But here's the thing: it's only a waste of time if you quit, and if you quit, you will always be a terrible writer.

1.

I tend to blog a lot on Sundays. Hmm…

2.

I’m unwriting again. Bah.

But I did read over what I have today, and I see that I’ve begun the slow process of jargonizing TLOL.

Jargonizing probably isn’t a good term for it. More along the lines of my worldbuilding is beginning to actually appear inside what I’ve already written.

Kinda, I think it is beginning to be recognizable as the world that exists in my head.

3.

I am working on Nadia’s wedding sampler again.

I did finish The Charleston. I’ll put up a picture of that at some point. Probably means when I get back to Singapore later this month.

I need to contemplate what I’ll be starting in May, June and July. The Year of Starts! Whoot!

4.

I should probably post about my trip to the Macclesfield Silk Museum yesterday, but somehow, I just can’t be bothered.

1.

I want to write a book with wizards in it.

I am not, however, going through a Harry Potter phase.

But wizards! Funny hats! Beautifully embroidered robes!

2.

My sooperwoman’s mind is like a fortress. I can’t see into it at all.

There are scenes when you just know that they are meant to be written in her POV, but you can’t. So you either you skip it – which I generally try to avoid – or you write it in some other POV, which just feels wrong – which I also generally try to avoid.

So it’s making it difficult for me to write.

3.

I need to think about patterns. It’s something that should have come to mind earlier, given that I sew, but it didn’t and I feel like a million times an idiot for it.

4.

I’m not really making my daily minimum goals. It’s more like not writing, not writing, not writing, and bang! make up for several days at once.

1.

This re-write has run into another snag.

My sooperwoman needs a new sooper dooper power that still meets the parameters I’ve already set out.

I could fiddle a bit with the parameters, but I don’t think I have much breathing room. On the other hand, the alternative is to throw this out altogether and start over.

2

I do have a partial solution that I can use if I can’t come up with something better.

It’ll tie everything up better with another book that I may write someday, but I’m not about to toss a significant amount of plot out just to make it fit better with that book – which, in any case, stands alone.

There’s never anything such as a perfect solution though. Or rather, they exist in your head but cannot be applied exactly so in real life.

Rather like economics.

3.

I’m not looking forward to yet another period of unwriting. Don’t think I have a choice, however.

4.

I suppose I can always stitch in the interim.

I am half-way through Winter White, and have just started Prairie Moon’s The Red and the Black, which puts me happily at 3 starts into The Year of Starts.

1.

I did get around to 1-2-3. Just at lunch time rather than the planned breakfast time.

I expect that I’ll be doing it at the same time tomorrow as I have a 9 o’ clock start and I’ll be out late tonight.

2.

TLOL still suffers from the Heebie-Jeebies.

3.

I may start messing around with my M.O. Which because I think I’m funny, I have tagged Modus Operandi.

Even though it actually stands for Magnum Opus.

4.

But I’m still in social butterfly* mode, so you know, unwriting and not much work will be done.

*That’s why the start mentioned in yesterday’s post has yet to happen.

1.

Exams are over.

Immediate metamorphosis into social butterfly.

2.

Unwriting to commence as my Model has collapsed, partially due to lack of brainwork and mostly due to an attack of the Heebie-Jeebies.

1.

Yes. I know. I’m supposed to be dead to the world and unwriting*.

2.

But sometimes the urge takes over and exam tomorrow be-damned.

My cast is slowly expanding, and my multiple storylines are weaving themselves in and out to make a coherent whole.

Never mind nailing Euler equations. This is a whole new level of high.

3.

I have decided I will be doing a January-in-February** challenge, to kick-start my 3 pages in the morning habit to empty my not-so-little mind of its detritus first thing.

I haven’t decided yet how I’ll do it. Pen and paper just doesn’t really appeal to me. At the moment, I’m considering typing 3 pages, whilst listening to Britney Spears’s Three on repeat, and not saving any of it.

Except…what if there are gems in there? There might be, like, diamonds in the rough.

*unwriting is my version of unwinding.

**Something I’ll probably not be able to do next year because I would like to celebrate what might be my first and last Chinese New Year at home in years in proper style.

Going on writing hiatus for the next few weeks.

Writing economics essays is not a conducive environment for writing fiction.

Besides which, I need to consider whether I will actually splurge for WriteWay. I like it, but it is still 30USD that I could use for something else.